Alex Brown: Surviving the System & Finding Community - Season Six, Episode Four

One decision at 19 can echo for decades, especially when the criminal legal system is built to keep consequences rolling long after a sentence ends. In this episode of Amplified Voices, Jason and Amber sit down with Alex Brown to trace that full arc: a childhood in Connecticut, a late ADHD diagnosis, a college path that felt within reach, and then a crash that took a life and pulled her into court, prison, and years of post conviction supervision.

Alex walks us through her experience, the heaviness of her own emotional accountability, as well as the slow grind of court dates, the fear of not knowing your sentence until it happens, and the way reentry becomes a second sentence. We get specific about probation and parole: strict appointments, drug testing, shifting expectations from one office to another, and the impossible math of “get housing and get a job” while facing stigma and discrimination. She also shares about bringing and winning a discrimination case when doors to higher education were closed in her face.

Then the conversation turns to what happened inside Connecticut’s women’s prison and why prison reform has to confront power. Alex shares what she witnessed about trauma, motherhood, racial disparity, and a culture that enables sexual abuse by correctional officers. We also dig into the policy work she is involved in now, including codifying Prison Rape Elimination Act (PREA) protections at the state level so safety standards and confidential reporting do not disappear when politics shift.

Alex can be reached at alexbrownct@outlook.com and on social media at AlexBrown CT on Facebook and Instagram.

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Transcript

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Intro 0:12

Everyone has a voice, a story to tell. Some are marginalized and muted. What if there were a way to amplify those stories? To have conversations with real people

Why Amplified Voices Exists

Intro 0:24

in real communities. A way to help them step into the power of their lived experience. Welcome to Amplified Voices, a podcast lifting the experiences of people and families impacted by the criminal legal system. Together, we can create positive change for everyone.

Jason 0:46

Hello and welcome to another episode of Amplified Voices. I'm your host, Jason, here with my co-host Amber. Good morning, Amber.

Amber 0:53

Good morning, Jason.

Jason 0:55

Amber, today we have Alex Brown. Good morning, Alex.

Alex 1:00

Good morning, Jason.

Jason 1:02

Alex, we're gonna start with the same question that we typically ask, and that is could you tell us a little bit about your life before entering the criminal legal system and then what brought you into it?

Alex 1:13

Sure. So I grew up in Connecticut, a small town near Bridgeport. Uh have two brothers. I grew up in a pretty stable family, I would say.

Jason 1:23

Where were you in the order?

Alex 1:25

I'm the middle child.

Growing Up With Late ADHD Diagnosis

Alex 1:26

So I have an older brother and a younger brother. Um my parents are still married and were. But you know, I made it through, you know, elementary school, middle school, and then high school, all in the same small town.

Jason 1:40

So you have an older brother, younger brother. So you have one paving the way, and one you're paving the way for. Were you doing activities?

Alex 1:49

In middle school, I feel that I was pretty shy, but also I had a solid group of friends, but my grades were not the best. I struggled in school, especially in middle school. I was diagnosed with ADHD in high school, and my grades got better after that, but in middle school, I really struggled.

Jason 2:10

Okay. ADHD, wasn't that not typical? They usually focused on boys for ADHD.

Alex 2:17

Definitely. It was not typical one to be diagnosed so late. Most times, especially with younger boys, they're diagnosed more often than girls because ADHD has a stigma where boys are hyperactive, and that's what ADHD looks like. And that's just not the case for everyone. So yeah, it was a little different of an experience, but my grades were not great. And it wasn't for many particular reasons, except that I was very social towards the end of middle school and high school where I could not focus or pay attention, and I was just very easily distracted. Oh, gotcha.

Amber 2:54

Well, as the mother of two children with ADHD, I know exactly what you're talking about. And it's interesting because ADHD manifests in different ways. Some of it will manifest like just being disorganized in your spaces or feeling a little overwhelmed when you have a lot of things to do and you don't know where to start. It can be a superpower when it is diagnosed and you have the supports that you need, but it can be very challenging when there's a stigma attached to it. So I can see where that could be challenging, particularly at that stage of life. Middle school is hard enough, right?

Alex 3:37

Yes.

Jason 3:38

All right. So how about the brothers?

Alex 3:40

Uh my older brother was very involved with sports, was, you know, played football, basketball, lacrosse, and was very popular growing up. Um, following in his footsteps definitely added another layer of who I was supposed to be. We're only 11 months apart. So I was really following right after him. Um, yeah, my little brother, he's five years younger than me, but nope, no ADHD for him either. Um, just myself.

Jason 4:08

So you go through school and home life was okay?

Alex 4:11

Yeah, my dad and I were have always been very close. He's my biggest supporter, my biggest fan. He was the only person who worked. My mom was a stay-at-home mom for the most part, but she really struggled with her own health in general. So home life was okay. I felt like I had a pretty stable household, but there were challenges. There definitely were challenges. So I'm in high school. I have a decent four years. I had a lot of friends, and that was something that I feel has always been me. I've always like really have found community everywhere I go. And I had a great time in high school. I cheerleaded for I think three of the years. I I finished with a decent GPA where I was ready to start thinking about where I'm gonna go to college. And during my senior year, I heard that I've got accepted to a university in Pennsylvania, LaSalle University. It's a small school, and high school is ending. And I graduated and I was ready for my next step. And I did make it to Pennsylvania after I graduated high school. I spent a year there, one year of college. You know, I lived alone for the first time. It was a great experience, but it was fast. It was my freshman year of college. There were so many new things. And then I came home that summer, and that's when my real interactions with the criminal legal system started. I was still with my boyfriend at the time from high school, and I hadn't even been home for a month. In June of 2009, I was with my boyfriend at the time, and we were going to pick

The Crash And Living With Harm

Alex 5:47

up a friend of ours from the train station who was coming home from school in Rhode Island, and um we never made it to the train station. I was driving Bridgefort into Stratford and was um in a car accident, and I had been drinking, and someone in in the car that I crashed into passed away. And I was 19. I wasn't even supposed to be drinking. Um, and I knew better, right? I, you know, like I said, I have a strong relationship with my father who instilled some like really strong values in me. And um I, you know, I made a really bad decision. Yeah, and I just never thought that anything like that could happen.

Jason 6:32

So, Alex, uh, we're doing this podcast, and we don't really share the video, but what I'm seeing is a lot of you know heaviness. I see it really weighing on you. I see you taking accountability. Amber, what are your thoughts?

Amber 6:49

I mentioned previously my own children. And so my children are 28, 26, and 21. And when I think about how young people interact and what you're thinking about at that age, it never really clicks until you're a little bit older that smaller decisions that you're making can have huge ramifications. And so what I'm seeing coming from you, I could be talking to any one of my children at this point. And we actually have had situations in our town where similar things have happened, and something can be a tragedy without there being a lot of intent behind it. And so what I'm seeing from you is heaviness. And what I really want to ask you is you say like you never thought anything like that could ever happen to you. Tell us a little bit more about that.

Alex 7:54

Yeah, I it was it's still something that's very hard to deal with, right? The impact that that I've caused it unintentionally. It's very challenging to handle, but even more so when I was only 19. I I remember waking up in the hospital after the car accident and not knowing um yet what had happened. And I heard my dad on the phone outside of the room of the hospital looking for a lawyer for me because his daughter had just killed someone. And for the hottest sec, I thought that my dad had a daughter with someone else. I was that confused as like how this could happen and how I could be capable of doing something like that. And that was very challenging. It was very challenging for me, and it was something that I had to really come to terms with and take accountability for, regardless if it was a mistake. But similarly to what you both said is that two harms can happen at the same time. And it doesn't discredit the harm that has happened to my victim's family, but it's a tra it was a tragedy. Yeah.

Amber 9:06

Yeah, thank you so much for being so forthcoming. Um, we know that some of these things can be really difficult to talk about, but I'm so thankful that you're willing and here with us today.

Alex 9:17

Thank you.

Jason 9:18

Yes, I agree. So there was this crash. Were you hurt?

Alex 9:22

I was hurt, obviously not as badly as the victims in the other car, but I injured my legs. But in the large scheme of things, I was able to leave um the hospital within the two days. And there was, you know, that's kind of how it started. I knew nothing about the criminal legal system, nor did my family. It took about a month for them to investigate the crash. And then they showed up actually on the day of my little brother's

Arrest Day And Courtroom Limbo

Alex 9:52

eighth-grade graduation, and we were outside taking pictures, and the cops came and arrested me. So I went down to the police station. I had already had an attorney thanks to my father and the support. Otherwise, my experience would have been very different. My father hired an attorney, so they met me down at the police station. Thanks to my father, I was able to bond right out and court started.

Amber 10:22

And so you go down, you're booked, the lawyer meets you there, you did bond out. So, what is the period of time that you were there in that process?

Alex 10:34

So, when I initially got locked up just down in the holding cell in the police station, I would say I was down there for just about an hour to two hours just for the booking process. This was the first time I had ever been arrested. I needed to do the fingerprints, the mugs, all of it. And they tried to, you know, then question me, but I had to say that I had an attorney. So just going through the regular steps, it was very traumatizing, but I was down there for a short time because my attorney was in the waiting room waiting for me. Then knowing what you know now, that's not everybody's experience. Not at all. No, not at all.

Amber 11:10

So then you you leave, and what does it look like between the time that you're booked and then you leave, you're bonded out, and the next step of the process for those who are not as familiar with what the process looks like?

Alex 11:25

Sure. So um after I bonded out, I had court the next day for arraignment. And that's when myself and my father heard my charges out loud for the first time in a courtroom. And it would continue on that way for a year, monthly, of going to court with my father and my attorney and doing that whole process.

Jason 11:55

Each time you went, you think that's this could be the time that they're gonna sentence me, right?

Alex 11:59

Every time, every time.

Jason 12:01

So that emotion that like you're getting yourself prepared for whatever it's gonna be, and then you have that relief that it's not today, but you still have it hanging over you.

Alex 12:12

Yes, and court was especially challenging because my victim's family was somewhat involved, and that meant being at court and doing um interviews with the news. And so there was some media attention around my case, and it was all very challenging, and not so much but for my family. My little brother was just entering high school. Again, I had grown up in the same small town for my whole life, and my father does and my mom do a lot for the community. So it was very challenging for others and my victim's family to have to keep showing up. So there were times where I just wanted to be sentenced that I really just wanted it to be over.

Jason 12:51

So sophomore year never happened.

Alex 12:54

Sophomore near never happened. Instead of going back to college, I went to prison.

Jason 12:58

But it would take a year for that to happen. So you're living at home and going back and forth, and your whole life is consumed around it's like on pause. You're in a limbo state, right?

Alex 13:09

Correct. And you know, that was hard to grasp as a 19-year-old. I thought I was going back to college, and this happened. And instead of going back, I, you know, yes, took a year to go to court and deal with that process, and then I went to prison for four and a half years.

Jason 13:28

Well, before you get to prison, though, there's an actual date where you show up at court and there is some sentencing that happens.

Alex 13:34

Yes.

Jason 13:35

Is there anything remarkable about that story that you want to share?

Alex 13:39

So my day of sentencing, I showed up knowing that I was looking at anywhere between three to six years. So the judge had told me that he could sentence me as a minimum of three or a maximum of, I think it was six and a half. And that made me feel so lost. I really struggled with not knowing the time frame to really even decide relationships at home. You know, three years is very different than six and a half. So that process was very hard walking in that day. And I remember I was with my dad and he got out of the car. And for a split second, I just wanted to take the keys and leave. I was scared, right? I was scared. And I was also scared to leave my family. Like it's such a role that I had as a the only daughter, especially with my mom struggling, that I really stepped into that role as a young woman. And I was afraid of what would happen to my family when I left.

Amber 14:43

Wow, that's that that is that sounds like a lot to be running around in your mind as you're going through this process. I wanted to ask before we get to the sentencing part, I actually have two sort of things that are coming up. So, first, you mentioned like this period of being in limbo. What were you doing during that time? Were you trying to work? Tell us a little bit about like what you were up to during that time. And then second, I just wanted to hear a little bit was this a plea deal situation? Did a trial happen? All of that.

Alex 15:16

Sure. So during that year that I was going to court, I was working a part-time job at an ice cream store because I had an open case and I couldn't find any other anything else. But I was also taking a couple college courses at West Con, which was close to my parents' house. I was determined to graduate college somehow, some way. So I took a couple classes while court was going on.

Amber 15:44

Okay. And what did that process look like? Were you looking at a plea deal? Did you have the trial process? Tell us a little bit about that.

Alex 15:55

I pled not guilty like many people do while fighting the case. And then, yes, I took a plea deal. I remember my first offer was 14 years. And then we worked down from there for the next four months or so, six months. And then that's when he settled on telling me that my next court date, he would sentence me anywhere from three to six and a half years. And I had a month to Google everything I could about what I needed to do to prepare. Could I take cash in? What color sneakers could I have? Anything I could to try to get ready to go to prison.

Jason 16:33

Because you have no peers to call. There's nobody you know that's been incarcerated that you could call and say, How how does this work? Right.

Amber 16:42

And this was before AI. Correct. So it was like traditional Googling. Yes.

Jason 16:49

Yeah. All right. So did you tell us the three or the six? Did you answer that?

Alex 16:55

I was sentenced right in the middle to four and a half. So four and a half inside, 10 suspended, and five years probation. So a 20-year sentence total, but four and a half.

Jason 17:08

Four and a half inside, and then how long is probation when you get out?

Alex 17:11

Five and a half and ten years suspended.

Amber 17:15

So for those who don't know what 10 years suspended mean, could you just explain that a little bit?

Alex 17:21

Sure. So my suspended time meant that after my time incarcerated while I was on probation and parole, if I were to get convicted of a new crime or violate probation, I am looking at a sentence. It could be a petty crime of up to 10 years, particularly if my crime were to have related to my original crime. Right.

Jason 17:41

So like any drinking or anything like that.

Amber 17:43

Correct. Yeah. So that's the perfect opportunity to move into what post-conviction supervision looks like and what your experience was. Because before

Probation Parole And Impossible Rules

Amber 17:56

our lives were touched by the criminal legal system, my perception of probation was that quirky probation officer that came to your house on the movie and is high five in you because you've been sober for a certain time and is like always the cheerleader in your corner. Tell us about your experience with conviction supervision.

Alex 18:17

That probation officer sounds amazing, but that was about my experience. Well, you know, almost four years in a halfway house. So while being on probation and parole, I found it extremely challenging to have additional rules and supervision and no help with those conditions while trying to reintegrate into society with additional barriers, right? I already can't get housing. I already am being discriminated against for jobs and other things. And then I have probation on top of that, which is requiring me to have housing and a job or be in schools. So probation was really challenging for me. I did violate probation a couple of times, and going through that court process was also really challenging. And it's not, it was not an easy road. I actually just have only been off probation for a month.

Jason 19:21

Congratulations, first of all.

Alex 19:22

Thank you.

Jason 19:23

So let me ask you this. You were going in the southern part of Connecticut.

Alex 19:27

So I released to a halfway house in Bridgeport. And I started parole in Bridgeport, but was then transferred to Danbury parole after I left the halfway house because of my parents' house address.

Jason 19:41

Okay. So then you were you did parole and then probation?

Alex 19:45

Correct. I was only on parole and a GPS bracelet for a little bit, and then I was on probation.

Jason 19:50

So when you're doing probation, let's talk probation for a second. So again, you've got to go how often?

Alex 19:57

At the beginning, I was going to probation three times a month.

Jason 20:00

So you're going three three times a month. When you go, is there an appointment or do you just show up and wait to be seen?

Alex 20:07

There's an appointment, a strict appointment that I had to be on time for while they didn't have to be on time. So yes, I had strict appointment times that I had to be there and urines every time. Pay stubs, I would have to bring in anything I could to prove that I'm still doing okay.

Jason 20:26

And during the time that you were out probation, did you have the same officer throughout?

Alex 20:31

While I was in Danbury, I did have the same officer until I moved to central Connecticut. And I changed probation officers because I had a probation officer in Bristol and then I finished out in New Britain. But during those times, I did always have the same officer in each office, and particularly because I was placed with the officer who does domestic violence. So they couldn't really change my PO.

Jason 20:59

Were the rules the same when you went from one to the other?

Alex 21:04

No.

Amber 21:05

And why did they change? Because, you know, there are court-ordered conditions. So it's hard for people to understand the discretion that different officers have within those conditions. Can you talk a little bit about that?

Alex 21:20

Sure. So I felt in Danbury, probation was the most strict. It was very challenging. It was a smaller office. So they dealt with a smaller number of people from my experience. And I felt that they also had different expectations than a larger city like Hartford or even New Britain, who come in contact with more diverse populations. And I also felt that in Danbury, like there was just more stigma. And it really was awful in the Danbury probation office, including the Danbury Parole Office. I had the hardest time.

Amber 21:57

I have to say, my loved one is supervised out of Danbury, and I'm highly aware that there are some challenges. There's always a ray of light in uh every system that there is, you know, people who try to do their best. But I would say it is interesting how different offices have different expectations, different cultures. And one of the things that is really important about how people interact with systems is how they're treated in those systems. And in my experience with that particular office, uh, I even have interacted with that office as a support person and have had somebody actually say, oh, you have to treat her nice. She's not a client, which indicates to me that if I am a client, you treat me a different way.

Alex 22:49

Correct.

Amber 22:50

Yes, I think I can confirm that there are a lot of differences depending on where your supervision happens.

Jason 22:58

So over the course of your parole incarceration, parole, you're in a halfway house, you're doing probation, like how many people were supervising you at any one point?

Alex 23:09

At least two, right? I've been, and it's something that I used to say often that I've never lived as an adult without supervision. This past month I have, but since the moment I came home at 25, I for the last eight years have right done supervision.

Amber 23:28

We kind of skipped over the incarceration part. Was there anything about incarceration that really surprised you?

Alex 23:38

So going

What Prison Taught Her About Power

Alex 23:40

to prison, I I don't want to say surprised me, but it definitely opened my eyes. I felt that I really grew up pretty quickly while I was there. And it really gave me some insight into what was really going on in the state of Connecticut and how many people are really struggling and suffering, and that there's kids two towns over from me who are starving. And I met women with through all walks of life and the most beautiful people, some that are still my friends to this day. And I guess that's what I would say shocked me is how many women there were there and how many of them were mothers. And just the the amount of trauma in our lives was something that that really shocked me. It also shocked me, but it was something I was aware of that um it's mostly black and brown people that are incarcerated in our state. So there was a lot of like eye-opening moments, but um the culture also inside the prison was something that was really startling to me. There was such a difference in power that that was something that was really interesting.

Jason 24:49

So you mentioned there's a lot of black and brown people, that the majority you are not a black or brown person. How did that impact you and being inside of that culture?

Alex 25:01

It was definitely something that I noticed as an injustice. And I I had gone to a year of college for psychology and then for social work eventually, but I saw it as like a systems-level problem. And it was something that I wouldn't stop talking to my dad about every time at visits, every time, even throughout the court process of, hey dad, we're the only white people here. Are you waking up yet? Look what's happening. Look at this system that I would have never probably come into contact or have known. Well, there's we've got some real big problems here. So it all of those things really opened my eyes to systemic injustice, the racism that still exists, just all of the things.

Jason 25:38

So what's interesting is that when I saw like the January 6th people who were arrested go in and they're like, Well, we just don't belong here. Right? This is the right system for everybody else, but not me. You went in and you didn't have that approach. You went in and you said, This is a bad system. So as horrible as it is to have you have had that experience is um it seems like it's energized you and charged you to say, like, I have to be a spokesperson to make sure that the world knows what's going on.

Alex 26:11

That's definitely how I felt as it was time to come home. My experience while I was incarcerated as a as a woman in the only women's prison in our state, not knowing or having anything to compare it to for most of the thousand women who are inside, right? We've all only really been to this one Connecticut prison, the only one we have to gauge anything off of. And while my prison experience was what it was, I had some tickets. And after doing some time, a couple of the correctional officers were really inappropriate. And I ended up being sexually assaulted by a couple of them over my time and eventually

Sexual Abuse And A Culture Of Silence

Alex 26:50

having a prison rape uh case after being released. But those experiences are not unique for us women who are incarcerated. During my four and a half years, I can think of, you know, 10 other women with 10 other correctional officers. So it's not just one correctional officer, it's a culture inside our women's prison. And that was something that was very motivating for me when I was coming home, is that we have a systems-wide problem. And there are women who are being taken advantage of who are not being kept safe. And if I'm able to do anything to shed a light on anyone's experience inside, man or woman, that's what I really gained from my experience.

Jason 27:31

That is very heavy.

Amber 27:33

So, Alex, you referenced that there was a certain experience that women have. And you also referred to this idea that there's a very distinct power dynamic that happens inside of prison. So that's for women and men, but I would imagine it's particularly predominant for women. Can you tell us a little bit about the conditions that you saw inside that might lead this to be just another day in prison for women rather than some unique case?

Alex 28:07

Definitely. That power dynamic is so real and it's a culture inside our prison. You have men supervising women and men who are literally making the people that they're supervising feel like animals. And it's a system-wide problem, right? It's not just one correctional officer that is the culture inside our prisons and particularly the women's prison that make this possible. I don't think of it as one individual correctional officer committed harm. No, the state of Connecticut's prison system, your correctional institution, it's created harm and is harmful. It's not one person. The whole culture inside of there has made this okay and has made it okay for us to take advantage of people, particularly myself and other young women who were incarcerated doing longer sentences. I noticed we were, you know, particularly targeted. And again, it's not one person who committed the harm. It was the whole prison making this okay. I can confidently say people turned the other way. And so that really shaped my experience and my idea of what was okay and what was acceptable for women. And if other people didn't know or were afraid to second guess if this was okay, I knew that when I came home, I was not going to stop talking about the conditions inside and how they're making women feel and how they're able to manipulate women and how our whole attitudes, just all of it.

Amber 29:40

Yeah, so um, you know, just for sort of an example, in a prison that is mostly supervised with men, was it always the case that strip searches were conducted by same sex, or did it look different than that?

Alex 29:59

So I would say they did try to have women do strip searching, especially at visits, right? Every time I had a visit, I was stripped before and after. Regardless if I was on my period, I would have to take my tampon out, walk back to my unit without any feminine hygiene product. So it was just very intrusive. But there were times where, say in medical, they would strip you in a more general area and there were male officers walking by. You don't have privacy in there. And you know, you can get patted down by anyone, which is just as invasive, right? If a man is patting me down when I'm walking out of the cafeteria, you know, they can do whatever they want, really, right? It's just a very, it's a power imbalance. So while, you know, most of the time it was a female correctional officer doing the strip search, it didn't make it any different.

Amber 30:51

Because it's still a very intrusive process that is based on this idea that it is the people who are incarcerated that are bringing contraband into the prison. Was that your experience?

Alex 31:03

Not at all. I never saw people bringing anything back. We would all always be stripped together. There was never anything caught. And I had visits every single Sunday, unless I was in segregation. My father came to see me every single week during my incarceration. And there was not a single time I saw a woman come through and get held back because they had contraband. However, I was brought in things from correctional officers, power strip cords, belly button rings, you name it, perfume, and those always came in from the correctional officer and was handed right to me in my hand. So that's my experience.

Amber 31:39

And so I think it's really important for people to understand this power dynamic because people like to use this idea that somehow incarcerated people, if they experience inappropriate advances, if they experience assault, that it is because they are causing it or they are inviting it, or they are somehow corrupting officers who are otherwise doing the right thing. Was that your experience?

Alex 32:08

No. These officers did this to multiple women. I was not special. I just happened to be there during that time of their work life. And no, I was trying to survive, right? I was trying to survive with nothing. And it felt awful. I knew I knew women who were, you know, being assaulted for ice water, right? That's how low and degrading prize of anything they could give you back. So it was never for that. It was just to stay alive. It was to stay out of seg, pending investigation of a prison rape case. It was just to keep the peace.

Jason 32:46

So the harm that was done to you and the harm that you witnessed of other people. Well, first of all, unacceptable, horrible. I can't I can't come up with the right, I can't even come up with the right words because it was just awful, right? Just terri tremendously awful. Then, and I know I I'm jumping way ahead, but we'll we can come back, but we're jumping way ahead to, you know, you advocate now and you're out there in the world speaking, and you go and you talk to politicians, and some are supportive, and some will put their arms around you and tell you, you know, we got you, we're gonna protect you and all that. And then you have other people who are still causing harm. And how do you basically incorporate that into your advocacy and into your life and into who you are, and how does that impact you when you're still getting harmed today?

Alex 33:39

Sure. So I, you know, I think that's all part of it, and I think that's also what makes me be able to do this work is to try to find a way to navigate all of this, even with these barriers, right? There are times when I'm talking to legislators about important bills, and I will literally have someone tell me that they don't care, they don't believe that people deserve to come home or that you know the prison should keep people safe. And it's a kick right to my stomach, but that pushes me even harder because I know they're worth it, right? My best friends are formerly incarcerated people and they're the most amazing human beings. And wow, we can still cause harm and other people can cause harm, right? Two things can still exist at the same time.

Jason 34:27

Just because somebody has caused harm at some point in their life doesn't mean that they should be the recipient of harm from everyone forever, right? I mean, it's like an open excuse to to inflict harm on you. Alec, you did this thing, so therefore, whatever we do is okay. And you are who are they gonna believe? Right?

Alex 34:47

And I feel that was something that after coming home, I definitely had to deal with is that I felt harmed, but I still feel that I was able to heal by doing this policy and advocacy work, right? By really stepping into a space of listen to me, right? I need you to hear me what is happening inside. Have you guys ever been inside? There's things that are happening, and it's not about me, right? I feel healed, I value my experience and and I use it, but it has taught me so much. And it's taught me that like people make mistakes, right? But it's also because of the conditions and our environment and what we're surrounded by and all of these things. And everybody makes big mistakes, bad mistakes. It could be anybody who does something, but our job is to fix these injustices. And I feel that really with this work, I've been able to uplift other people and allow them a space to speak their stories and their truths. And that has helped me so much in my process that I do feel such support with my community, you guys included, right? It's just something that we've all built, and that's really helped me heal.

Amber 35:58

So, based on that, I wish everybody could see your face because you're like very passionate and very excited about talking about this work. And that is amazing. I want to ask you like, how did you get started in advocacy work?

Alex 36:12

Sure. After coming home from prison, the halfway house, all of that, I moved to New Britain because I wanted to go back to college, like I had promised myself. I took some college classes while I was incarcerated. So I wanted to continue. I moved to New Britain

Turning Reentry Barriers Into Advocacy

Alex 36:25

for Central, the Central Connecticut State University out here. They had a really great social work program that was from an accredited university. So I came to New Britain and I did two years at the school. And then the dean of the social work program called me to her office. And while I had always been honest about my felony to my teachers on my application, she called me into her office and she told me that because of my violent felony, that I would never be successful as a social worker. I would never be able to get an internship to finish my degree, and that I should walk down to the sociology department and change my major. I felt that same feeling of you're not good enough, right? It's the same when we get denied jobs, or the landlord won't give us that really great apartment that we really want, or whatever it is, or the really bad apartment that we don't even want, but we still can't get that one. And it felt the same. So I went down to the sociology off, you know, department, looked at the classes, and I was like, this is not what I want to do. Like, this doesn't make sense. So she told me that I could go try it a different school. So I remember calling my dad crying, walking back to my car, asking him, like, is this legal? I'm paying for my education. I I was just so confused. Like, who's who says that, you know, who who are who is she? I struggled. They kicked me out of school, and it took me a year to figure out what I was gonna do. So for that year, I just was working and I finally found an attorney in New Haven who would take my case. It took me a while to figure out what to do. First, I filed a CHRO claim for discrimination, and then I decided to sue the college for access to education, is what I sued for. Equal access to education. I took it to court and, you know, told them basically like, allow me a chance to be successful. You can't discriminate just because I have a felony and you think, and I won. Um, I won the case, and it was really important to me to win um because I wanted the policy changed. But in that process of looking for an attorney, I called the ACLU and Melvin picked up, and that was the start of my um advocacy work. He told me about smart justice starting, and um, you know, he would see me in a week at the Capitol, and I started from there. I I only, you know, smart justice was part-time advocacy work. And when I started, we were unpaid advocates, and we would show up at the Capitol for different criminal legal reform bills, and I, you know, we built a network, a support network of people, and we were able to really all stay in criminal legal reform work with the help of the ACLU and other organizations like Stop Solitary, One Standard of Justice. There's so many organizations that have given some of us formerly incarcerated advocates a lot of support. And I just took that and ran with it. And yeah.

Amber 39:22

I do have to say out loud on the podcast, that is how um you and I met was you were involved with the smart justice program. And that program was really groundbreaking in our state and changed the whole landscape of how people talk about incarcerated people in our state. Really amazing work that has been brought forward by all of the smart justice leaders who um have gone on to continue to do the work in different ways and the partnerships that were built, right? With the organizations that you mentioned and many others. And so right now, staying on this vein of like legislative advocacy and all of those things. We're in Connecticut. And so, for those who are not in Connecticut, in Connecticut, we have short sessions and long sessions, which is how our legislature works. Right now, we're in a very critical, high need moment, but there's a lot on people's minds that are not criminal legal reform. Tell us a little bit about how it is to navigate during a time period where other things are rising to the top, and criminal legal reform seems to be coming a little bit less popular, but by no means less important.

Alex 40:42

You know, there's so many things happening right now in the state. I had an internship uh working on housing legislation, and you know, there's so much need for people who are experiencing homelessness and unstable housing. The housing market is so out of control. There's no affordable housing in our state. Our state is suffering. People are losing access to food stamps. Um, there's new requirements now from the federal government that people have to be working, and there's so many different things really affecting people's life, right? So navigating those while also trying to navigate bills that deal with, you know, people who are incarcerated or people in re-entry. We seem to get pushed to the back burner a lot of times because we're kind of out of sight, out of mind. And discrimination and stigma is still very real. And I believe that, you know, they do feel that we're not as important sometimes when push comes to shove and our bills get pushed back. However, we're still going to be here to continue to do this work.

Amber 41:39

Advocacy can be very strenuous. And, you know, Jason asked you a question about like, how does it affect you to hear people, you know, pushing back on things that you know or just like treat us like humans? What does it look like to be a lived experience advocate? Because often what we see is that it is very difficult to have such a high stake while also navigating all of these barriers and showing up consistently, which is what is necessary for advocacy. How do you manage that?

Alex 42:17

It's definitely isolating work. It's hard work to do this. I still feel like I'm in re-entry. So I'm one foot in and one foot out while doing this work. And I find that there's a lot of us advocating for different issues that are in similar um positions. But I also think that's what makes some of us so unique and relatable. And one of the ways that I deal with it is my community, right? I lean on my best friends, my support networks, our group chats, and I never feel alone anymore. But I can say there was a time where I felt like I was, you know, screaming to the walls to nobody and nobody was listening. And these are such big issues. But as we've grown support and our communities, and I'm able to, you know, bring people to the Capitol for the first time or show them what it's like to testify, it is the most rewarding feelings to be able to show someone else like how they can tell their story, how they can show them what needs to be changed and ask for a real tangible change. So that those kind of things have really helped me stay motivated, but it's not easy doing this work. And I have to continue to remind myself that it's okay to show up as who I am. And I purposely don't, you know, dress up and put a jacket on like you know, some people do and put suits on. And I want to be there as myself because I want other people to know that they can come there too. And it's a space for us to really change the community part of it is very important.

Amber 43:54

And I think a lot of people and a lot of us that do this work really feel that. Because when I think about who do I want to be in community with and who is best suited to find solutions to these very complex problems, it is folks that need. Know exactly what's happening, not anecdotes about what somebody thinks is happening. And so it is important to continue to be in space, even if you're feeling disfavored or that people aren't listening, they have no choice but to listen because it is their job to serve the public. And we are the public. And I totally agree.

Alex 44:38

People who have lived experience of, you know, these laws and policies should be the ones who are testifying and explaining to people how these laws and policies are affecting their lives and what happened because of it. And yes, I have never felt more at home than when I am with other formally incarcerated people. I consider them family. I have never felt safer around people who are formally incarcerated or have convicted of any crime than literally in my life.

Amber 45:12

Actually, it's like when people build a muscle, right? So if you were wanting to get fit, right? Okay, say let's use the physical example. Are you gonna go and go with somebody who's never been to the gym?

Outro 45:31

Right.

Amber 45:31

Or are you gonna go to someone who has been to the gym, figured the things out, and has a way of navigating it? It doesn't make any sense. So we should be applying the same concepts. Alex, so this session, I saw you testifying on so many bills. It was like everywhere I went, Alex was there. But one that I was particularly interested in hearing you share about on our podcast was this idea of bringing the Prison Rape Elimination

Codifying PREA In Connecticut

Amber 46:04

Act provisions that are provided for in federal law to state law. Can you just real quickly talk about why you think that's important?

Alex 46:13

Sure. So um PRIA, the Prison Rape Elimination Act, is a federal law. Um, but in the state of Connecticut, it's not codified into our state law. So by passing SB 89, which is the PRIA bill, it would codify PRIA as state law, which would allow people in Connecticut to go through the process of the Prison Rape Elimination Act and get justice that they deserve. It also, if anything were to change on the federal level with the PRIA laws, they would still exist in Connecticut as the state statute that prison rape is not acceptable, regardless of what it changes on the federal level. It also would provide outside resources for people who are incarcerated experiencing this. And during this short session, I was really pushing for outside resources, confidential reporting, no tickets or anything for women who have reported prison rape. I was really concerned about this bill becoming more of a problem. So, yes, I was heavily involved with trying to get at least codified into state law. And right now it has passed the Senate. So we're on to the House and then hopefully to the governor's desk.

Amber 47:32

So just to give people sort of a flavor of like why it's important for things to be in state law, I think we can all just think about like what's happening in the world now. There are a lot of things that are happening at the federal level that may be cut or they might be moved around or they may be eliminated by executive order or other means. And so it's really important for us to be building. You know, we at the ACLU, we refer to them as firewalls. So firewalls on the state level that will help protect Connecticut citizens on whatever it the issue is. And this is one method to do that. So thank you for making your voice heard on that work. We continue to at Restorative Action Alliance and here on Amplified Voices are very supportive of that effort and are hopeful to see that on the governor's desk.

Jason 48:24

So Alex, you talked about the advocacy, but your anything that you're doing right now, talk about briefly like what you're doing, and if there's anything you want to promote, if you want people to get in touch with you or anything, this is your opportunity to share all that.

Alex 48:39

Sure. Yeah, for the past year, I've been at the University of Connecticut working on my master's degree in social work. I graduate next month, which is May. It's been a long journey, but um, I'm so grateful to be getting done. So, you know, in May, we'll see. I have had an internship this whole past year, um, working on housing and finding policy, working in policy and advocacy around who are experiencing homelessness. Some graduation, I would love to stay in criminal legal reform because I have such a passion, but our population intersects with so many issues going on in Connecticut. So I plan to stay, hopefully, working in policy and advocacy, community organizing, and continuing to learn and really try to help fight for justice for people.

Jason 49:25

You want people to network with you and help you navigate into your next position?

Alex 49:30

I would love any advice if anybody listening has any or anybody thinks I make be a good fit. You could reach me at my email. It's alexbrown ct at outlook.com. Um, I'm also, you know, on social media, Alex BrownCT, all one word. You can find me on Instagram, Facebook. Yeah, please reach out. Amazing.

Amber 49:50

Alex, if you had one piece of advice for someone who was embarking on a journey that was similar to your own, what do you think that might be?

Alex 50:02

Whoo, that's a loaded question. But yeah. One piece of advice for my journey. Definitely that decisions really matter, especially as you're growing into adulthood. Just be mindful that the choices that you make are going to affect the rest of your life. But more importantly, community really matters, right? Find a great support network, find your people, right? Stand up for yourself, love yourself, stand up for other people. You know, and I really think no matter how hard it gets, you're gonna make it, right? You're gonna make it. Your life is might be very different from what you thought, but it's going to be the most fulfilling life you can imagine, right? I can't imagine a different life. I have so much love around me that I feel so blessed. So that's what I would tell someone.

Amber 50:52

All right, thank you. We are so thankful that you have taken the time to be so forthcoming and visit us here on Amplified Voices today. We will be putting information in our podcast notes about how to reach you. And we definitely will see you at the legislature and in community because we're all doing this work together. Jason, last thoughts.

Jason 51:16

Last thoughts. Wow. Thanks, Alex. It was wonderful to have you for this conversation. Known you a while, but not certainly not to this level. So it was great getting to learn more about your story. It's so impressive. Some of the things you shared with us, like being an advocate for other people, not only yourself, but also advocating for yourself and standing up for yourself and not taking no for an answer. I think you're you're destined for great things. You've already done some great things, destined for more. And hopefully that person that told you no, you can't, you're not gonna be good in this profession, is uh wrong. Well, it's definitely wrong, but realizes it. Maybe the next time somebody who's in your shoes comes along, they go, Let me think about that before they say no. Let me introduce you to Alex Brown. Right? So it was a great conversation. Like I said, destined for great things, so thank you so much.

Alex 52:10

Yes, thank you both. I appreciate you both. Take care.

Jason 52:14

Until next time, Amber.

Outro 52:16

We'll see you next time. You've been listening to Amplified Voices, a podcast lifting the experiences of people and families impacted by the criminal legal system. For more information, episodes, and podcast notes, visit amplifiedvoices.